4/13/2013

Pondering who I am

So for my "first" post on this "new" blog I will be talking about one of the talks from this last General Conference. I really like the talk by Elaine S. Dalton called We Are Daughters of Our Heavenly Father. I liked this because, not only will I soon be a mom, who needs to teach her children they are sons and daughters of God, but I also need to remember some of the teachings for myself.

Lately in the world I have seen many posts on social media sites by feminist Mormons who are trying to change the way the church is. Don't get me wrong I am all for equality in gender; sometimes life isn't fair out there in the world; but I don't think that the Gospel I know to be true is in the wrong. Women have a mighty calling in this life; we are to be the nurturers of our families and home. This is a calling that we should not take lightly. We are in charge of how our children grow up, what kind of people they will become, and what kind of influence they are receiving at home; good or bad. If we are too worried about trying to make ourselves "equal" to others we will forget our calling and neglect our families. With this calling comes a great responsibility to our husbands and children, to be good wives and mothers. We need to remember that while chores around the house and mealtimes can be mundane, it is our duty as women to care for and nourish our families. If we are not the ones to do this, then who will? It is not the responsibility of our husbands to clean, cook and take care of the children. Now I am not saying that they can't help; they most certainly can help! They can and should help everyday! I am just saying that husbands are to be providers and protectors of their families.

The family proclamation tells us exactly the parts we are to play. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. "

Now the women who post about equality are wonderful women and mothers I'm sure. They just misunderstand their true calling. I am not claiming to be better than them in any way. I have no experience as a mother and have only been married for just under two years. I am not the best wife that I could be, and I am striving to be better everyday. I only think that these women think that their calling is less than that of a man's. By no means is that true! To love and nurture a family is one of the greatest callings on earth! I honestly can not wait for the struggles and fun times I will have raising a family. I know it won't be easy, but what in this life that is truly worth anything is easy to get and keep? I know when my husband and I were first married it was not easy. We had to mesh together two very different lifestyles and learn what was the most important things to bring to our new life. Also, I know that when this baby comes into our lives it won't be an easy thing. Our time and priorities will all be shifted and changed. Our lives will no longer be about the two of us but will become about the three of us and how we two can be better for the one.

Both my husband and my dad have had times when they have been without work, and both have told me that at those times nothing was harder than not being able to provide for their family. They didn't just want to work, they needed to. It is their right and calling in life to provide for, love and protect their families. To not do that drained them of the energy and feelings of self-worth that they needed to be happy. We women should not try to take that away from them. It is not our right to do so. I do understand that some women need to work to help provide enough of an income for the family to live off of, or that they might be single mom's doing the best they can. I applaud you. You are still magnificent women and you should know that. What I think to be the problem is when women work just to work. They don't need the money, they want it; or they think that they are not equal to their husbands because they stay at home. That is not true. Your part is important, your role as mother is magnificent! Don't go into the work field and work when it isn't necessary, you are needed at home. Your children need you to raise them, not a stranger at a daycare, not a friend or family member, and certainly not an older sibling. Do you want your children to look back and remember that you were always gone working? I don't! Not when I know I could have been at home with them!

Good men know the sacrifice they have to make to be great dad's and husbands. Or at least they should! Men are to provide and protect, that requires time away from home. It requires the sacrifice of not seeing their children and wife every moment of the day. If men understand their calling on earth then they should understand why that is. Both parents can't be at home all the time. Who would earn the money to get food to eat? Or to pay for a place to live? Now I do understand some jobs allow you to stay at home to work. While that would be awesome for both parents, it is not always possible.

Sister Dalton mentions having seen a quote that goes like this: "what e're thou art, act well thy part." I love this quote because it reminds me that as a daughter of an exalted being I need to be constantly striving to do better. It also reminds me that while I may not always feel that I am doing as much for my family as my husband who is out working to provide for us, I am in fact doing exactly what is needed of me. I am doing my calling. I am playing my part and fulfilling my role.

I don't look down on others for trying to change things; I applaud you for your bravery. I only want others to know that they need not change this. Motherhood is an all too crucial part in the lives of women. We can and must try harder to be better as mothers and wives. If you are unable to have children, be the best wife you can be and look into adoption, there are so many children who need a steady home and a wonderful influence in their lives. If you are putting off being a mother for a career or to finish schooling first, I urge you to reconsider; nothing could be more fulfilling than being a mother. Nothing will be. Pray for help and guidance for your situation.

I wish you all great happiness and love in life.

To read the whole talk by Sister Dalton click on this link: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/we-are-daughters-of-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng&media=audio#listen=audio

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