The Joys (and Not so Joyous) Things about Pregnancy!

Okay so everyone who knows me knows I am no expert on being pregnant. Not even close! This is my first baby and I am only half way through, so I have very little experience or “expertise” about being pregnant. But I have to say, there are some things that I have loved and some things that I have not loved about being pregnant.

Let’s start with the not loved things, get the bad out of the way. Luckily, throughout my pregnancy so far, there aren't a lot of bad things to report on. First off, being sick; I worked at PetSmart up until about two weeks ago. I liked it just fine, that’s not why I left. I left because I am allergic to basically everything in there. I know, I know, I shouldn't have even worked there, but it was one place I could handle working without going out of my mind. Anyways, so I am allergic to stuff in PetSmart that made it so my immune system had a hard enough time keeping up with me. My allergies affected my immune system badly; they didn't just make me sneeze and itch.

So when I found out I was pregnant I worked until David could find a better job and then we both decided it was time for me to quit and get better. Being pregnant took a toll on my body, causing me to be sick almost constantly. In fact, I went to the doctors to check if I had the flu (which I did), when I found out I was pregnant. So yeah, being sick wasn't fun for me at all! Now that I have quit, however, I am doing much better at staying healthy. No runny noses, sore throats, colds, or flues.

Another thing about being pregnant that I didn't like was the constant feeling of “I am going to throw up!” I hate throwing up! (Don’t know anyone that likes it actually). And I hate feeling like I constantly need to. Plus it made me lose twenty pounds; which would have been fantastic if I didn't now need the reserves for the baby. Granted, he is the one that took them so he could grow. (He is two days ahead of his growth schedule. I have a feeling he won’t be a tiny baby.) I could hardly eat at that time and only really did so to satisfy the baby. (They say that eating helps the nausea, I didn't see a huge improvement when I did). Luckily, the sickness eventually went away! Now I don’t get nauseous hardly ever! Except when I forget to take my medicine or run out of it. I have Insulin Resistance so I have to take a pill every day.

One more thing I don’t like is the back and tummy pain. Well, the tummy pain is more ligament pain, but I feel it in the tummy area. Anyways, it is both normal and good that I feel it (according to my doctor). It means the little man is growing; which don’t get me wrong, I LOVE! But I don’t love that it hurts so bad. My doctor said that some women just feel it more than others and that it can be pretty painful. I guess I am one of the unlucky few who feel it more than others. Because sometimes I can’t move for a minute till the pain dies down again. Also I have had back problems for quite a while (years), so the back pain isn't fun either.
Last thing, I also don’t like when my heart races or beats hard. It is kind of scary. I feel it beating super-fast and hard and I just have to take a time out and breathe, sit down, and drink some water. It never last super long, but I still don’t like it.

Okay so now onto the things I LOVE about being pregnant! First off, that I AM pregnant! David and I tried for a year and a half before we finally got pregnant. (It was when we stopped really trying and just had fun that I finally got pregnant). I had had so many “false alarms” that when my period was late this time I just thought it was cause my I.R. medicine ran out again. WRONG! I was preggers! We were ecstatic! SOOOO HAPPY! J It is my favorite thing about being pregnant, other than the joyous little man I get out of it!

Next, I love when he wiggles around inside me and I can feel it! Some days he is super wiggly and some days hardly wiggly at all; but I love it because it means he is in there and healthy and growing. I love knowing he is in there. I can’t wait till he is big enough that David can feel him wiggle and kick too. It’ll be awesome! (Side note, we want to put Marley’s head on my tummy when he is kicking and see what her reaction to it is. Hehe!)

One of my all-time favorite things so far was our last doctor’s appointment! We got to go in and see our little man in the ultrasound. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! I won’t lie, I cried a little while in there. I just loved seeing him. I wish that I could go in every day and do that so I could see his little face and hands and feet! He is just so precious to me! I am getting teary eyed just thinking about how much I loved seeing him.

Okay so last but definitely not least, is that at the end of this nine month journey, I get to meet and hold this precious soul in my arms. I am overwhelmed that my hubby and I have been chosen to take care of him. It is one of the greatest blessings I could ever receive; one of the greatest blessings of being a woman. I am honored that I have been given this role in my life. I just can’t wait for a chance to fulfill it to its fullest!
Babies are an amazing blessing; one I can’t wait to have in my arms.

So tell me, what do you love, hate, or can’t wait for in pregnancy?

P.S. I love buying baby stuff! SO CUTE!


Committed? Or just not?

 My husband and I got this frame with the saying as a gift for our wedding. We have it hanging in our living room so that we can always see it and be reminded of what our commitment was the day we wed. I love this saying because it reminds me that, even though my husband and I are different people and we have different points of view, I have chosen to be committed to him. When my husband and I first married it wasn't the easiest life to get used to. We no longer lived on our own or with roommates, we could no longer do as we pleased. Suddenly we had someone else we had to think about and keep in mind. Now this can be a hard adjustment to make. When you shop for food, you shop for two, you now have to think about where your money is going, and you have to butt heads with this person as you adjust to the little things at home. 

There are so many things you do every day that you don't even realize will be a problem when you get married because you assume that you'll continue doing it your way. That is not the case. No two people do everything the same. There are times when you have to give and times when you have to take. These small things can be the beginning of problems for some couples. Sadly, some people have no desire to change, not even for the one they love; they put their own needs above that of their spouse. Now I am not saying that my husband and I are perfect, we had our struggles, but the one thing we got right was commitment. We decided before we were even married that the "D" word (divorce) would never ever be the solution.

I understand that their are real situations in which divorce is the answer; cheating and abuse (of any kind). But other problems can almost always be solved. Sometimes you can solve things on your own, sometimes you must seek counseling. Don't be ashamed to seek outside help, it can change your life. One thing I don't get is a prenuptial agreement. Why? Are you assuming this wont last? Yes, you are. People that go into a relationship like marriage with a pre-nup are basically saying they don't think this is going to last. Tell yourself all you want that its a "back up plan" a "just in case" safety net. Its not. You and your soon to be spouse are telling each other right then that neither one of you is 100% committed to this relationship. One or both of you thinks it will fail, so you need a plan when it does. Ouch! How little faith do you have in yourself or your spouse? Seriously? Committed people will try to the bitter end to make things last. And often times their is no bitter end; they remain together and happy. 

the Merriam-Webster dictionary says this about commitment:
a : an act of committing to a charge or trust

Wikipedia says this:
Commitment may refer to:

So you may look at these definitions and think "oh well, people promise things all the time and then break it." Well you may be right, not everyone can keep their promises, not even important ones. But to me and some of my friends, committing to another person is more than that. It isn't just a quick "I promise to love you till I don't anymore", it is a promise that no matter what life throws at us, we promise to be together and help each other through it. It doesn't matter if its the hardest thing we ever have to do, when we make a commitment it is for forever. It is a sacred bond sealed for eternity. 

"Marriage requires falling in love many times. Always with the same person."

That is why I love that quote. I am reminded that when times get rough and I am so angry at my husband or he at me or even us at the world, no matter what we never ever think of divorce. We only think of how to get through the obstacle together, how can we return to the love we had before; how can we fall in love again. Granted, we never fall out of love, but we sure as heck don't have it easy and there are times we don't like each other. I will always always always love my husband, but everyday in numerous ways, I fall in love with him again and again.

My friends and family have said this about commitment and what it means to them:

Summer Horenstein I think commitment in terms of marriage relationships means taking your vows or covenants seriously. It means being dedicated to your role as a husband/wife and earnestly striving to do your best. It means you don't want to fail; that you love being in love with your spouse and you want your relationship to last forever and keep getting better so you do what you can to make that happen.

Rob Drollinger I've learned we are blessed when we keep the Lord's commandments, and our covenants with Him, no matter what! It's easy when things go good. It's hard when we're struggling. It is most important for us to be true at all times. Same with marriages. You covenant with the Lord and your sweetheart that you will love them no matter what. You're love for them deepens as you make the choice to love them, even when we're upset and, since we're human, don't always feel like doing that. The Lord will heal us as we remain true to those things we covenant.

April Irish Having been married and divorced, I think commitment means respecting each other's bodies, minds, emotions, and beliefs, and proving to each other that no matter what, they are loved, even when they make mistakes. However, some mistakes are unforgivable (in my mind, abuse of any kind and cheating are the unforgivables). Relationships and marriages take lots of hard work, compromise, and respect to work out, from both sides.

I love what they have had to say because it is all so true. Marriage is a lot of hard work. But being committed is the key to getting through it. Think about this when you are thinking of getting married "can I commit to love this person and work to make it a happy life with them no matter what?". I hope that everyone is willing to do this with someone. Everyone needs to be loved. And if you are married and its been hard, think of the fun times you had when you were first married, before you were married; remember the feelings you had for that person on your wedding day. Those feelings aren't gone, maybe just buried a little. Dig them back up and keep on trying. Things will get better and when they do, you'll love that you and your spouse are still together to celebrate it.

One more thing: I hate the way celebrities treat marriage, like they can get married five times in three years and that's okay. It most certainly is not! No wonder marriage and its meaning is questioned today! We have people who are constantly observed by the world abusing it. Marriage is sacred. It should be treated as such.

Don't give up, instead get up and do better.


Why do we wear what we wear?

So I have seen a few blogs, posts and Facebook pages asking women of the LDS church to wear pants to church on Sundays. They say it is more comfortable and that it makes them feel more equal to the men. My take on is it that they feel that wearing dresses and skirts is old fashioned and that we should no longer do that. I do not however agree with that. I do not think it is "old fashioned" or a "show of the times". Sure dress pants can be more comfortable and are certainly professional, but we don't go to church to sit around being comfy. If everyone sat around being comfortable the whole time I think that would cause people to lose focus and not really hear what is happening or learn from it; we go to be edified and uplifted. Yes we should act mature but its not our career, we don't need to be professionals at it. We just simple need to participate and learn from it.

To me wearing a dress or skirt is how we show respect and obedience to the Lord. We are commanded to wear the best attire we have. Do to certain circumstances I know that that doesn't always mean dresses and skirts. I also realize that wearing the best they have can make people uncomfortable to come to church because they don't want others to look down on them for what they don't have. I know its wrong to look down on others for what they wear when they can't afford nicer things. I'm not saying anyone should look down on anyone. I am simply writing that in my opinion dresses are better than pants for church attire.

And if you know someone that can't afford the nicer things, donate some of your own to them, get others to donate too, make them something nice or go shopping with them and buy them something nice. If they are asking why you are doing this tell them its because you want them to feel comfortable and welcomed at church. You love them and think that their salvation is worth the money or time spent doing this thing for them. For me that would be true. I think everyone is worth the money and time.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson  has this to say about what we wear to church:

"It offends God when we come into His house, especially on His holy day, not groomed and dressed in the most careful and modest manner that our circumstances permit.
I hope you will think and feel and dress and act in ways that show reverence and respect for sacred things, sacred places, sacred occasions."
Basically look at it like this: on our wedding day, we women want to look our absolute best, like a princess or angel; we want to feel that way too. So what do we wear? Dresses! Big, puffy, lacy, smooth, beautiful, wonderful, soft dresses. They don't all look the same but they all make us feel the same. We feel like we are on top of the world, like we deserve to be princesses! Yes, a lot of your happiness is coming from marrying your best friend, but if you wore a shirt and pants would it feel half as special? No! So therefore, dresses are the best thing we can wear, they make a difference in how we feel. Same goes for church, we want to wear our best so we wear a dress or skirt. Granted, the dresses we wear to church are much more conservative, but that is because we shouldn't wear things to church that might distract ourselves or others from what we are all there for. Which is to learn.
I fully believe that dresses and skirts cause us to act in a manner that is respectful and reverent for church. We hold ourselves to a higher standard of behavior when in a dress. As men do when they wear a suit.
"You are a Saint of the great latter-day dispensation—look the part." Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Some of you readers might think that I am "brainwashed" or too conservative to speak my mind against the church or men. You would be wrong. I am speaking my mind, this is how I feel and what I believe to be true. I have not been raised to be a pushover or to not ask questions and learn. I still don't know everything which is why I will always continue to learn and ask. On everything I write I will know how I feel and what I believe. I don't just follow the commandments of the Lord, I try to understand why exactly we would need to follow them. And sometimes the answer is simply to show obedience to the Lord. Maybe that certain thing we need to avoid wouldn't kill us, maybe it wouldn't even hurt us, but are we willing to follow the Lord's commandments in order to get to the Celestial Kingdom? Sometimes that is all it is about; obedience to the Lord.
I implore you to comment and ask me questions. If I don't know the answer I will find it out and post on it when I do. I want to help clear up any mishaps or confusion that I can for anyone out there.  
If you want more information on why we dress a certain way here are some links you can look at:
http://www.lds.org/new-era/1971/12/standards-of-dress-and-grooming?lang=eng (This one is in regards to BYU standards, but it still has some good points about why we dress modestly.)


Pondering who I am

So for my "first" post on this "new" blog I will be talking about one of the talks from this last General Conference. I really like the talk by Elaine S. Dalton called We Are Daughters of Our Heavenly Father. I liked this because, not only will I soon be a mom, who needs to teach her children they are sons and daughters of God, but I also need to remember some of the teachings for myself.

Lately in the world I have seen many posts on social media sites by feminist Mormons who are trying to change the way the church is. Don't get me wrong I am all for equality in gender; sometimes life isn't fair out there in the world; but I don't think that the Gospel I know to be true is in the wrong. Women have a mighty calling in this life; we are to be the nurturers of our families and home. This is a calling that we should not take lightly. We are in charge of how our children grow up, what kind of people they will become, and what kind of influence they are receiving at home; good or bad. If we are too worried about trying to make ourselves "equal" to others we will forget our calling and neglect our families. With this calling comes a great responsibility to our husbands and children, to be good wives and mothers. We need to remember that while chores around the house and mealtimes can be mundane, it is our duty as women to care for and nourish our families. If we are not the ones to do this, then who will? It is not the responsibility of our husbands to clean, cook and take care of the children. Now I am not saying that they can't help; they most certainly can help! They can and should help everyday! I am just saying that husbands are to be providers and protectors of their families.

The family proclamation tells us exactly the parts we are to play. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. "

Now the women who post about equality are wonderful women and mothers I'm sure. They just misunderstand their true calling. I am not claiming to be better than them in any way. I have no experience as a mother and have only been married for just under two years. I am not the best wife that I could be, and I am striving to be better everyday. I only think that these women think that their calling is less than that of a man's. By no means is that true! To love and nurture a family is one of the greatest callings on earth! I honestly can not wait for the struggles and fun times I will have raising a family. I know it won't be easy, but what in this life that is truly worth anything is easy to get and keep? I know when my husband and I were first married it was not easy. We had to mesh together two very different lifestyles and learn what was the most important things to bring to our new life. Also, I know that when this baby comes into our lives it won't be an easy thing. Our time and priorities will all be shifted and changed. Our lives will no longer be about the two of us but will become about the three of us and how we two can be better for the one.

Both my husband and my dad have had times when they have been without work, and both have told me that at those times nothing was harder than not being able to provide for their family. They didn't just want to work, they needed to. It is their right and calling in life to provide for, love and protect their families. To not do that drained them of the energy and feelings of self-worth that they needed to be happy. We women should not try to take that away from them. It is not our right to do so. I do understand that some women need to work to help provide enough of an income for the family to live off of, or that they might be single mom's doing the best they can. I applaud you. You are still magnificent women and you should know that. What I think to be the problem is when women work just to work. They don't need the money, they want it; or they think that they are not equal to their husbands because they stay at home. That is not true. Your part is important, your role as mother is magnificent! Don't go into the work field and work when it isn't necessary, you are needed at home. Your children need you to raise them, not a stranger at a daycare, not a friend or family member, and certainly not an older sibling. Do you want your children to look back and remember that you were always gone working? I don't! Not when I know I could have been at home with them!

Good men know the sacrifice they have to make to be great dad's and husbands. Or at least they should! Men are to provide and protect, that requires time away from home. It requires the sacrifice of not seeing their children and wife every moment of the day. If men understand their calling on earth then they should understand why that is. Both parents can't be at home all the time. Who would earn the money to get food to eat? Or to pay for a place to live? Now I do understand some jobs allow you to stay at home to work. While that would be awesome for both parents, it is not always possible.

Sister Dalton mentions having seen a quote that goes like this: "what e're thou art, act well thy part." I love this quote because it reminds me that as a daughter of an exalted being I need to be constantly striving to do better. It also reminds me that while I may not always feel that I am doing as much for my family as my husband who is out working to provide for us, I am in fact doing exactly what is needed of me. I am doing my calling. I am playing my part and fulfilling my role.

I don't look down on others for trying to change things; I applaud you for your bravery. I only want others to know that they need not change this. Motherhood is an all too crucial part in the lives of women. We can and must try harder to be better as mothers and wives. If you are unable to have children, be the best wife you can be and look into adoption, there are so many children who need a steady home and a wonderful influence in their lives. If you are putting off being a mother for a career or to finish schooling first, I urge you to reconsider; nothing could be more fulfilling than being a mother. Nothing will be. Pray for help and guidance for your situation.

I wish you all great happiness and love in life.

To read the whole talk by Sister Dalton click on this link: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/we-are-daughters-of-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng&media=audio#listen=audio