1/25/2010

Shortest Relationship Ever!

So... I said last time that I was in a relationship. It didn't last long haha. Less then a week later I had talked to him and told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to be in a relationship. I felt nothing when we cuddled or kissed. My heart wasn't in it. Honestly I just don't know what I want... But right now being in a relationship would go on the don't want list. Dating is fun and I'm up for that. As long as they aren't trying to rush into anything more serious. I guess I'm just scared to be in a relationship. I am scared of getting hurt again. I don't want the pain. But at the same time I am scared of missing my opportunity for true love and never finding the right one. Its a complicated mess I'm in. I'm not letting myself get too close to a guy for fear of hurting him or getting hurt. But I am working on it... slowly... :) It'll happen one day. Until then I am going to just try and do the best I can to stay positive and happy and be a better me. By doing that we can become better and be worthy to be led down the right path in our lives. So peace out guys! And don't worry, be happy! :)

P.S. He took it well! :) We are still friends and talk. I just hope he doesn't wait around for me forever, because I'm not sure when I'll be ready and if I'll even like him like that by then.

1/13/2010

Cross Roads

Life is full of choices. Good, bad, unimportant, life changing. They all happen. We come to a cross roads and we have to choose. Some things are easy and don't affect our lives much at all. Things such as choosing what cereal to eat and what color toothbrush we want, they don't matter much in the long run. But things like relationships and where to go to school and where to live do matter. Those are the choices that change our lives. For better or for worse. They aren't easy either. They take a lot of pondering and reflection to figure out. We need to think it through before making a decision. Sometimes we don't have a lot of time to decide before whats bothering us takes affect. But we should still do our best to figure things out first... I guess what I want to say is, I'm in a relationship. The guy is really nice and fun but I'm not sure I'm ready for it after this last time... Actually I know I am not. The only problem is, how do I break it to him? He seems really attached and I don't want to hurt him. But I just cant do it. I am not ready for it, ya know? :/

I moved out. With Rachel. It is awesome and rocks! I love being on my own! Even with rent and stuff haha. I like the feeling of growing I get from it. I am close to my family so that rocks! :) My mom and dad are always here for me! I love them! :) Oh also my BEST FRIEND Miranda is getting married in March!!! ITS SO AWESOME!!! :) I cant wait! I get to be maid of honor! and I cant wait!! YAY!! :) Anyways, work is still great! and besides not wanting to be in a relationship I am doing ok. Anyways, that all for now.